


Redefined emotions

by horrorriz



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Cuddling, Ed isn't sure what he is feeling, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Oh he will be pleasantly surprised, Oswald is sure they're just friends, Pining, Set directly after the last scene in S05E08, this is possible the most fluffy thing I've ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-09 00:04:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17991071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/horrorriz/pseuds/horrorriz
Summary: Oswald is content with the new alliance reverting into a relaxed friendship between him and Ed. Or at least he claims to be. Attempting to ignore the feelings which were still very much alive inside, proves to be hard when something feels different with Edward as well.





	Redefined emotions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spicywatson](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spicywatson/gifts).



> Happy birthday to [SpicyWatson](http://spicywatson.tumblr.com/)! This is a fluffy birthday gift, or well... My attempt to. As many of you know fluff is not my strong suit but I REALLY tried this time around.  
> I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> (Thank you as always to [verovex](https://archiveofourown.org/users/verovex) for being my loyal beta and editor)

 

“Perhaps Edward… We really are meant for each other.”, Oswald smirked, slightly wicked but not any less genuine. Before he knew it he could hear Ed’s laughter ringing in his ears, so loud, so contagious that he was soon doubling over in a laughter fit of true mania. Is this what honest and real friendship was like? Without the doubts, the fear of rejection from an unrequited adoration. It wasn’t like Oswald had stopped loving Ed, quite the opposite, really. But it had turned mellow, like calm and soothing waters rocking him to bed at night with its familiar comfort. Less painful after he had accepted that loving someone was more than wanting them by your side and having the feelings returned. No, that lesson Edward had taught him in a way he would never forget. Love was not only sacrifice, but the willingness to put your own needs away to honor their wishes —and boundaries. Ed had been very firm with where his line went, that what they currently shared was once again the friendship they both craved to have returned to its former setting —perhaps even stronger than ever.  
So when Oswald finally staggers to his feet, only to instantly feel his bad leg give way under him after having been suspended in a skewed position for too long, could feel Ed’s strong, warm arms around his lower back… Hanging in midair like he was dropped low in a dance number, he cursed how he could feel his cheeks heat up.  
He was over this! Nothing good had ever come out of the frantic devotion blinding his judgement and calculating mind like a lovesick teenager. He was better than this, smarter at the very least.  
Yet the way those hazel eyes deepen as their gaze locks, darkening with unspoken words of something Oswald has yet to decipher —had him falling back into that deep rabbit hole of loving Edward Nygma to the extent he could feel the world shatter around it and the only thing remaining was the way Ed’s warmth was radiating from his skin and under Oswald’s many layers. Scorching his skin, licking his soul with delicious flames of the unknown yet alluring.  
  
Just as Oswald thought he would lose his mind completely to the lightheadedness clouding his thought process, Ed finally pulled him up, back to two mostly solid feet. He faltered slightly once more and Ed put his hands around his arms to steady him.  
  
“Oswald?”, Ed called out with an uncharacteristic worry in his tone. “Are you alright, do you need to lay down?”  
  
“N-no, I’m fine.”  
  
“You don’t sound fine, come on. Let’s get you back to City Hall for some rest, we can take care of…This,” he gestured around the corpse of Oswald’s former bookkeeper. “—later.”

 

***

 

The way Ed was tucking Oswald down in bed with such care was not in the slightest helping Oswald calm his heart rate. Yet something about the kind gesture was strangely familiar and soothing, reminding him of the motherly touch he had once been so accustomed to.  
  
“How’s the leg now?” Ed sat down on the edge of the bed and stroked his hand over Oswald’s legs over the blanket.  
  
“It’s better, thank you…”  
  
The silence that fell over the two men was profound, almost suffocating. For once, it seemed like it wasn’t only Oswald’s unsaid words lingering in the air. Something more, something new simmered just below the surface of Ed as well, trying to break out —break free.  
  
“Oswald…”  
  
“Yes Edward?” Oswald prompts, suppressing a sigh as he looked over to the hunched frame of Ed, eyes in his lap and fists clenching as he continued to fight himself.  
  
“I… ...Do you want a cup of tea?”, he finally asked.  
  
Oswald was distraught, it couldn’t be more obvious how Ed was once again avoiding inevitably speaking his mind for once. Letting out the truth instead of wrapping them around in riddles and schemes. Death and suffering —mostly directed towards himself.  
  
Edward hurries to his feet, ready to bolt with his sad excuse. Luckily Oswald was faster and grabbed his wrist before he had the time to turn and leave.  
  
“Enough of this, if you have something to say, just spit it out already.”, Oswald snaps.  
  
“Excuse me?”  
  
The crimelord scoffs as he let Ed go and sits up, resting his back against the headboard.  
“This? This dance around the truth that you, that _we_ have done for this long. I’m over it, I thought we had come to an agreement as a mutual concession.”  
  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about Oswald.” Ed averts Oswald’s peering eyes.  
  
“Don’t lie to me!”  
  
“I’m not!” Edward picks up his tone, turning his face to Oswald’s. He suddenly felt out of breath, despite having done absolutely nothing to tire himself. His chest felt tight, choking on his own words.  
  
“Then out with it! What is it that I’ve done so wrong to upset your fragile ego this time?”  
  
Ed’s answer was weak, almost a whisper.  
“That’s… Nothing.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“You haven’t upset me, everything is fine, Oswald.”, he clarifies.  
  
“Then WHAT is it you’re not telling me?”  
  
Ed just grew silent at that, sinking back down on the bed, eventually falling onto his back, empty gaze staring into the ceiling.  
  
_I can’t believe this._ Oswald thought and internally groaned, or at least he intended to but it might have come out audible as well.  
He pushed his blanket aside and moved to loom over Ed in his horizontal position, seeking any form of contact, needing the man to get over himself. There was no fear or nervousness left in Oswald, been there, done that. He was done. If they were supposed to continue this path as friends, they needed to be clear and open with each other. Suppression is the first step to a lie, and lies lead to betrayal and eventually one of them finally dead by the other’s hand. Then what was the purpose of all this?  
  
To his surprise, Ed actually looks back, the same hooded eyes as before. He could see him visibly swallow and mouth slightly ajar as his breath seemed shallow and fast.  
Oswald was hypnotized, mesmerized by the sight. As if he was seeing Edward for the very first time again, falling in love anew. _This is stupid._ He told himself. _You’re just gonna end up hurt._ But it was hopeless, of course it was. It had been proven over and over again that his weakness laid with Ed, heart since long wrapped into silk and gifted to the man with trembling hands. He had never asked to have it back, even after everything. This time, in this very moment —he reached for the bundle once again, slowly unravelling the fabric and revealing his beating heart. Left open and exposed, accessible for Ed to shove his knife into it and destroy Oswald once and for all.  
  
The next few seconds went down in a more rapid speed than anything had ever done in Oswald’s life, normally fast to react to the slightest movement in order to keep himself safe from threat —he didn’t stand a chance with his guard down and soul exposed.  
A swift pull of his tie pulled him down, and for the fraction of a second, he hovered with lips just above Ed’s, seeing his own wide eyes reflected in Ed’s glasses. Before he knew it, the world stopped existing. Everything became blurred and vision and hearing alike were robbed of him. All that he knew was how Edward’s soft lips felt on his, a chaste and tender yet lingering peck that soon became eager, almost desperate. It was unfamiliar, surreal and utterly terrifying. Yet so wonderful he couldn’t have enough, couldn’t wait to explore and kiss those lips swollen, until it felt natural —knowing it was real. Showering Ed with the affection that was swelling in his heart so much it might burst, his only outlet was the man he was so close yet so impossibly far away. Kissing him back with a similar intensity, uncertainty giving way to confidence with each connection of their lips. Growing deeper, impatient and passionate. A tongue slipping between Oswald’s lips along with a pair of arms pulling him closer by the waist, pressing their bodies closer. Warmth encircling them, spreading with the soothing embrace. Comfortable, soft and still very much unreal.  
Was this really happening? Oswald felt lightheaded, world spinning as Ed pushed him around, pinning his body down with his own. The weight of his lean body as pleasant and comforting as anything he had ever experienced.  
He kisses Edward back, his own arms around the man who owned his heart, who could do whatever he liked with it as long as this would last.  
  
He never wanted to let go, but eventually, they had to break apart to breathe. Both panting heavily, Ed leaning on his arms and looking back at Oswald. Pupils blown wide, completely dark with longing to just fall back into their dance of bodies. Explore further, deeper and closer.  
Oswald wanted to speak, to repeat the words he had buried deep inside and promised he would never say again. But he found himself mute, unable to convey any coherent sentence if he was even able to think up one.  
Perhaps words weren’t what they needed right now, they had only ever complicated things in the past. Despite Edward’s sense for logic and reasoning, it seemed to be a hinderance when it came to his feelings. Acting on instinct and passion in the moment had taken him further than anything else, and Oswald wishes, hopes, _begs_ for this to be more than a brief impulse.  
  
His worries were soothed as lips met his again, and he allowed himself to melt into the touch. Finally feeling as he could breathe, like he had been holding his breath for years. Perhaps ever since he first realized the nature of his feelings.  
Content washed over him, and he was relieved over the fact that at _last_ something in his life felt right.

 

***

 

When they came back to the room Ed used as a workshop, claiming that as much as he enjoyed their moment together he needed to get back to work if they were to ever have a chance to get out of the city. Now more important, for they couldn’t be together, truly free if they stayed. He had given him a light peck on his cheek and taken his hand, which he didn’t let go during the entire way to the workshop.  
  
Back in the room, both stopped dead in their tracks as they realized something crucial was missing.  
With only a small patch of blood and fractions left from the destroyed dummy, they found that both the body of Mr. Penn and what was left of the dummy were missing. They looked at each other, same thought hanging unsaid in the air. No one else knew about this place except the two of them, so the only explanation meant that he was alive and had simply walked out.  
  
Better hurry and get their way out finished, rather than waiting around for him to come back with vengeance greater than before.


End file.
